The Tale of Mrs Alvin
by Aaram
Summary: Mrs. Alvin is fed up with her neighbors. She has seen too many pots broken and flower beds trampled, and has decided to go over there, and give the Misters Oxenstierna a piece of her mind. Oneshot.


In a quaint little house in Sweden, Mrs. Alvin lived a peaceful life. She and her husband had three children that had long since grown up, and she was well on her way to having grandchildren. She lived in a peaceful neighborhood, and worked as a nurse at a nearby hospital. She he wouldn't stand for misbehaving children, and she was rather old-fashioned, and _very_ religious. So when a gay couple moved in, next door, with two rambunctious sons, she was most definitely wary of them. She didn't want any trouble, so she did her best to steer clear of them. So she ignored them.

However, there had been a few incidents with the children. There was a fence between their large backyards, but over time, a tree had grown branches onto her side. She could recall a day that had been exceptionally windy, and the boys had taken advantage of it, and flown a kite. With a sudden change in wind direction, the kite had gotten tangled in the tree, and, in the process of getting it back, the blond one had fallen into her yard. He had crushed her Roses. He and the red-headed one had panicked, and the blond had gestured for the other to help him back over the fence, presumably before Mrs. Alvin had noticed. He reached over, but didn't help him, instead running back out of sight. Although he didn't return, a thin, robotic arm had reached over instead. Blondie threw the kite over the fence, then jumped up and grabbed hold of the thin metal rod, effectively getting into a position to get over.

There had also been incidents that she couldn't describe. She remembered hearing a very loud roar, of sorts, following the sound of drunken singing. Gunshots had followed that. She wondered what exactly was going on over there; something illegal for sure, considering how often she heard the firing.

A couple of times, when she was gardening, she had peeked over the fence and had seen a rather intimidating man, apparently ranting at the blonde, a girl with thick eyebrows and a pink coat, and an oddly happy man with a little strand of hair that defied gravity. Behind them, a small boy with two long braids and a handsome man wearing a cape were discussing something animatedly. Sitting on the deck was a laptop with the image of the redhead, who appeared to be attempting to get a Japanese man eating an egg, to do something to the projector sitting nearby; he was angrily gesturing to it.

But this time she had had it. She had put up with their antics, long enough. She was done. The two boys had been using the blond boy's hat as a Frisbee, and it had gone into the tree. Naturally, the blond went to retrieve it, and although he didn't fall this time, the branch he was on broke. He and the branch had crushed her entire flower garden. This forced her decision. She was going to talk to these boys; parents about their sons' habits, and about their own habits. Her theories of drunkards, parties, and gunmen would be known.

She stormed out the back door and into her garden, leaving the short gate hanging wide open.

"I have just about had it with you!" She yelled at the boy. "I have put up with you and your family, long enough, and it is about time you learned some proper conduct!"

The boy sat up, and upon seeing Mrs. Alvin's furious face, jumped up and shrieked something in another language.

"_Shoot! Ladonia, help me out, here! She looks ready to kill us!" _

The redhead responds in the same, indistinguishable language.

"_You mean you. I'm still safe, and by helping you I'm risking my own life! Hurry up!"_

The robotic hand reached down again, and the blond jumped up to grab it, but missed. He landed on the ground just as she reached him. She gave him a scathing look, and in return, he glowered back up at her. She latched onto his sailor collar and hoisted him up, pushing him along in front of her. Mrs. Alvin steered him out of her garden, out of her backyard, and out to the sidewalk, turning in the direction of the boy's house.

She stomped up to the door and pounded on the door, tapping her foot impatiently.

There was a faint click and the door creaked open, revealing a tall, very scary looking man scowling down at her. "Can I help you?" He mumbled. Then he looked down a little farther and noticed the little blond boy. "Se- I mean, what did you do, Peder*?"

Despite her trembling and fright, Mrs. Alvin managed to gather her wits about her and spoke in an unwavering voice. "Your son, Mr. Oxenstierna, has fallen into my garden, and crushed all my plants. Now, I'm sure you think this is a trivial matter, but it is not the first time he has done it. I can recall five, or six times this has happened. Additionally, numerous objects have made their way into my backyard, knocking things over, or breaking my flowerpots. I would also like to mention-" Mr. Oxenstierna held up a single finger, stopping the woman.

"I have a feeling this will take a while. Please, come in." He opened the door a little wider. She nodded and stepped over the threshold, carefully removing her shoes and placing them by the door. The boy, apparently called Peder, followed suit. Once they were all safely inside, Mr. Oxenstierna closed the door and turned to his son. "Go get cleaned up. Come back out when you're done, and bring Lad- Anton." Peder nodded and took off down one of the hallways. Mr. Oxenstierna gestured for Mrs. Alvin to take one of the seats in the sitting room.

When both were settled comfortably on the cushy chairs, Mrs. Alvin cleared her throat once more, and resumed her speech. "Now, as I was saying, your sons have brought havoc upon my garden, and have broken quite a few of my flower pots with whatever happens to come my way. There have also been a few occasions where I have heard gunshots; I'm not sure if they were caused by a real gun, or a fake, but either way, it is irresponsible to have firearms in the same house as children. Additionally, I recall having heard rather loud _singing_, in the middle of the night, a few times accompanied by the roar of some beast. If you and your-" She swallowed before continuing. "_Husband_ are drinking enough to get drunk, then it is a danger to children. I believe that their behaviour will reflect yours, not to mention, the lack of a feminine touch will not be good for them in the long run-"

"Su-san? Is someone here?" A voice wafted in from another room, and was soon followed by the appearance of a delicate man wearing a light blue apron, followed by a little fluffy dog. "Oh! There is! Su- Berwald, you should've told me!" He chided, then turned to his guest. "I'm very sorry. Would you like coffee? Cake? I'm making some, right now! I'm in the middle of frosting it, right now, but it'll be done in a few minutes." He gave her a little smile.

"Ah- yes, please. Thank you." She was taken aback. Surely this man couldn't be the drinker, or the one using the guns. He seemed too polite. Too... feminine. He seemed to be exactly like a housewife, minus the necessary body parts. He left the room, and Mrs. Alvin turned back to Mr. Oxenstierna.

"Ahem. Now, Like I was saying, these influences will not be good for them, in the long run, nor is it polite to have such loud noises in a mostly quiet neighborhood. Things like that would keep people up at night, and I have no idea what kind of ungodly beast could make noises that _loud_. I apologize, but I feel that I need to bring these to your attention."

"For each of those, I apologize, but what we do has no influence on our sons."

Just then, Mr. Oxenstierna's husband comes back into the room, without the apron, but bearing a tray with three plates and mugs. After placing one pair in front of Mrs. Alvin, he placed the other two in front of the sofa that he and his husband would be sitting on. After he sat down, Mr. Oxenstierna leaned over and gave him a little peck on the cheek. "Thank you, Tino."

The smaller man blushed. "Not in front of Mrs. Alvin!" he hissed, although a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

The woman in question had to suppress a gag.

"You were expressing your concerns, correct? I'm terribly sorry if we've ever kept you up, at night, but we do try our best to keep things down. In regards to the singing and the roars, Berwald and I have a-" He cuts himself off, and turns to Berwald. "Cousin? Colleague? Friend? Well, one of those. Anyway, he likes to drink, and sometimes it gets a bit out of hand. So to calm him down, his- um, boyfriend? Brother? Well, sometimes we have to use drastic measures to get the alcohol away from him. That big roar you heard was Nor- Lukas's... Friend. He's a solitary guy, but he's kind of scary sometimes. But we don't see him very often. As for the gunshots, that was my fault. Sometimes I use firearms for work, or sometimes just for fun. But only at targets!" Tino reassured her upon seeing her horrified expression.

"If you don't mind me asking," She started slowly. "What do you do for a living?"

The two men gave each other odd looks, then Tino responded. "We work for governments, in a way. Not very many people know our exact position in the government, and I'm afraid it's going to have to stay that way." He had a little frown on his face.

Mrs. Alvin's eyes widened. "For the Government?" She hadn't been expecting that. "Both of you?"

"Yes, but that doesn't really matter. I heard from the kitchen: you also wanted to discuss Sealand-" He covered his mouth quickly with one hand and a panicked look. "I mean Peder."

He had slipped. Tino had said, "Sealand." What was Sealand? She didn't know. She would look it up when she got home. "And the other one. The red-headed one? Peder is the only one that's fallen into my garden, but I believe that he isn't the only cause of it."

"Anton? It would be difficult for him to... Oh, well. I suppose I'll go get them." Leaving his half eaten cake on the table, Tino left the room and vanished down the hallway.

Taking advantage of the smaller man's absence, Mrs. Alvin took that opportunity to take a few sips of her still steaming beverage, and a few bites of her cake. It really was good: it was one of those rolled cakes, flavoured vanilla with strawberry filling. A thin layer of powdered sugar dusted the top.

After six agonizing minutes enjoying cake and being stared at by Berwald, his husband returned with Peder (Who had changed clothes, and had a fresh bandage on his knee) in tow. "Anton will be right out, he just needs to finish setting things up. He usually goes to sleep at about two, and gets up again at about three thirty, but since he stayed out a little later, he's going to need a minute to get things recharged." He explained the absence of his other son.

Mrs. Alvin was surprised; the redhead- Anton- still took naps?

Tino continued his speech. "Now, Peder, what do you say to Mrs. Alvin?" The boy pouted, keeping his silence. Tino gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Peder?"

The boy shrank slightly, but he turned to Mrs. Alvin and said in a quiet voice, "I'm very sorry for crushing flowers, and I'll gladly replant anything that needs to be." He kept his gaze on the ground.

"Of course, we'll pay for any damages." Tino added. From the hallway, there was a mechanical whirring, then a rather loud thud.

"OW!" A boy's voice yelped. "Who put this stupid shirt here? My wheels got tangled in it!"

Wheels? Was the boy skating _inside_ the house? Surely not.

"Shoot. Sorry, La-Anton! That was me!" Peder called. What had he started calling the other boy? La-something.

"Well, come here and help me! I can't get up!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." He vanished down the hallway and Mrs. Alvin could hear that same, strange language she couldn't identify. A few moments later, the whirring could be heard again, and it got steadily louder. Peder emerged, followed by...

"Robot!" She shrieked. "There is a robot in your house!" She pointed a thin finger at the metallic black and white figure. The figure in question swiveled around so that its front was facing hers.

"Yeah," the red-head on the screen glowered at her. "You wanna make something of it?"

"Oh," Mrs. Alvin heaved a sigh of relief. She had read about these on the internet. They would allow people to go about and do their business, even if the person using it couldn't leave home, or their bed. However, they were still rather hard to come by, and the only one she had seen was on the internet- a boy with severe allergies, whose health would be threatened by many things. To remedy that issue, he had one of these "Robots," to do things for him. Still, they were terribly expensive, not to mention, hard to come by. Why would the boy need one? She had seen him scampering around outside, so he couldn't have been disabled, or something like it. Even so, it seemed much more complex than the ones she had seen before: this one had working arms.

"How did you get it?" She blurted before she could stop herself.

"What, this?" He spun in a little circle, the arms gesturing to the metallic frame. "I made it. It wasn't that hard. Honestly, to think that something so _basic_ would still be above the human intelligence level." Anton scoffed, crossing his metallic arms.

"Shut up, Anton. We can't all be geniuses." The two boys began to bicker, throwing insults back and forth, even if they were strange. At one point, Anton mentioned something about art, and waging war on Sweden. Peder responded with a remark about not actually having a physical form, therefore not making him something I couldn't hear.

"How dare you? Even if I only have a little bit of land to account for, that doesn't mean I'm not a nation!"

"Peder! Anton! Both of you be quiet!" Berwald suddenly raised his voice, which seemed strange for the man. Yes, he seemed scary, but in a silently intimidating way. He didn't seem like the type to do so. Either way, it caught the boys' attention. He continued in the same, strange language Peder and Anton had spoken. "_She doesn't know anything about us. We've given enough away, already, and we don't need to let anything else slip." _Tino nodded, and continued the statement.

"_Perhaps it's best if you two stayed quiet for now. She was just looking for an apology, and prevention for the future, so let's avoid any other topics. Sealand, you already apologized, so we're good there. Sweden and I will handle the rest; you two go back to your rooms. Ladonia, please see that Sealand doesn't do anything that would bring unwanted attention to us."_ Anton growled, but nodded and grabbed his brother's hand, dragging him back towards the hallway.

"What was that all about?" Mrs. Alvin inquired.

"Oh, nothing. The boys just had a bit of homework to finish up." Tino waved a hand aimlessly. "Peder won't be bothering you, again, so now the matter of the noises? We'll definitely try to keep it down, and if it helps, we can sound proof the house. Considering what goes on here, sometimes, we'll probably need it, anyway. As for the gunshots... Perhaps I could get a silencer? That would probably work. I could go to a range, but the closest one is rather far... I'm afraid a silencer will have to do."

"Ah, yes, that's fine." She stood abruptly and smoothed out her skirt, clearing her throat. "Well, this has been a rather pleasant visit, now, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Oxenstierna. Both of you. I'll just see myself out. Good day," She called over her shoulder, striding down the hall. She had done what she needed to do, and was in no rush whatsoever to spend more time with the Oxenstiernas than necessary. Now, it wasn't about what they were. It was more about _who_ they were.

Odd. Peculiar. Out of the ordinary. To put it ever so eloquently, weird. The family seemed to be hiding something- something she couldn't place. But that was perfectly fine with her, she didn't want any trouble. So, with her problems and complaints out-of-the-way, she ignored them.

She ignored the occasional drunken singing on holidays, and she ignored the muffled gunshots. She ignored the ridiculously large man who had come knocking at her door one day, asking to see "Sve," and she ignored the three trembling men speaking Estonian, Latvian, and Lithuanian, respectively. She ignored them.

And she was perfectly happy like that.

* * *

Author's Note: Uh, I have so many other things I should be working on right now... But this was sitting there: Poor, neglected, and unfinished. I figured, why not? I finished it, and decided I'll post it. This isn't my first fanfic, but it's the first one on this account. Sealand's human name is Peter, I know. However, it wouldn't make much sense for Sweden and Finland to give their son an English name. The Swedish alternate is Peder, so Peder he became. Anton is the name I gave to Ladonia, who is a digital micronation. Since he only exists online, I figured he would need some sort of assistance getting around in the real world. In _Treasure Box of Nations_, he used a projector. However, it's a 3D projector, which I'm pretty sure doesn't exist. So, I gave him the contraption I saw on Scholastic a while ago. Also, I pictured Mrs. Alvin as an elderly lady, sort of wary of anything... Liberal. Not to say she's conservative, but she definitely isn't liberal. It's been a while since I've written anything, but I'm hoping it'll become a habit... I've got at least six other stories in the works... Oh, well. I'll finish them when I finish them. Reviews?

Cheers! -Aaram

(By the way, completely Unbeta'ed)


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